Sharecropping The Apocalypse: A Prepper is Cast Adrift Read online

  In other words if you don’t have the accredited sheep skin seal emblazoned diplomas in your resume as a common man or as a speaker then you don’t get a voice or consideration as an individual that is worthy of being considered by political appointees for setting policy. Simple as that, uneducated officials, tenured professors, all fulfilling all the qualifications to the letter listed on the job application, or appointment. How the way the public will politically fund or support an independent advocates efforts etc. all depends on a worthless piece of paper that only means you can talk in the stiff regulated voice that has enough literary rules in it to rewrite the King James Bible in order for them to even consider for themselves to deign reading your stuff before dismissal to a dusty file cabinet.

  I wanted to change those emergency assembly areas and trailer parks really bad and thought that by me gaining degrees and submitting my scholarly papers it could make some kind of a difference and save some people some unnecessary grief. I have older and wiser eyes and ears now and can pretty much tell you that nothings changed. Good camp commanders use common sense and bad ones try to look good by enforcing bad regulations. Apple and stick routine, stick and apple.

  “By the way which of the compass directions are you planning on going in, Will? “David said, while sort of pointing his finger up in the air and wiggling it towards several cardinal points inquisitively, looking like the Wizard of Oz scarecrow.

  “I don’t know, we are going back roads and heading sort of south west, I guess. Is there a camp that’s better or worse down that way that you maybe can suggest?” Will said, confused all the while trying to take in the fact that a one size fits all aspect had nothing to do with an emergency Relocation Camp.

  “Well, if you are going south west then it appears to me that are you leaning more towards the panhandle of Florida around Panama city or did you mean more central southwest like towards Mobile, Alabama and Pensacola, Florida? I would advise staying away from Pensacola” David admonished, studying him.

  “More towards Opp and Andalusia, hey that’s a question for ya, you old veteran prepper!” Will said joking at what he thought he could get by with regarding David’s discomfort with the word.

  “David you were a soldier, what do you think is going to happen with those damned chemical weapon destruction sites down by Andalusia the Army runs? I know they been incinerating old munitions stores like mustard and nerve gas artillery shells for years down there for various disarmament agreements, but do they perform that with electrical power or natural gas?” Will said enjoying that look David was wearing that he evidently hadn’t thought about that particular risk and it vexed him.

  “SHEEEEEET! You got me brother! Give me a second here to wrap my head around that particular threat for a minute. Holy smokes boy you just pissed in my pudding, let me think about what might go along with them things being shut down that might pose us some kind of a risk. Ok I can see myself in one mentally as a laborer or operator, working, working and zap the power goes out. What now? Never having worked in one of those facilities before I got to just guesstimate what happens now. There is an official prescribed shutdown procedure and it is rehearsed better than most business continuity plans rest assured. No lights, no problem the emergency lights will automatically come on with backups. I can not see what I am doing as a worker in the dark to perform my regular duties, but I have access to battery operated exit lights and I have mission critical lights illuminating key areas that run on batteries, generators or both, response crews, security, civilian responders ok I am copasetic. No problem, probably the plant workers have practiced the emergency shutdown or clear the area drill a hundred times, its military operated right? I say nothing happens untoward, no gas leaks, no problems the engineers already covered all known toxic safety issues. The plant is shutdown and secured safely and we are now in emergency response mode awaiting further orders.” David concluded.

  “That assessment sure does make me feel a whole lot better, David. It is bad enough we that might be trying to avoid fallout from nuclear plants, but we also got chemical factories and military bases to think about to I reckon. What exactly is that school paper you were saying that you wrote about FEMA Camps? Were the conditions really bad or something?” Will asked looking very interested at what David had written as the outcome of his studies and research.

  “I didn’t write much on the actual living conditions like the livability of the trailers or the palatability of the food, I concentrated more on the mandated strict seclusionary polices that were being enforced by private contracted security elements. You see FEMA wouldn’t let the media or even any charitable organizations representatives into the gated enclaves to interview the residents for benefits or to inspect and report on living conditions. The people in the camp had to follow very strict rules regarding any type of interactions with anyone out side of the camps fenced perimeter and it caused a lot of problems both for the guests and the non profits trying to help the residents. I will tell you about some of the ridiculous rules that can get you in trouble when I come over to see your grandpa in a bit.

  7

  Rambling and Reminiscing

  “Julie,

  I am ready for a stiff drink, how about you? You ready for one yet?” David said heading for the kitchen.

  “Sounds wonderful to me, it has been a long day hasn’t it?” “Julie said following him to the kitchen.

  “Yea it sure has been a long one Julie, I am starting to get back into shape little by little but I still have to take a lot more rest breaks than I used to when working that garden. I felt like I was going to fallout from unused to exertion several times today while swinging that mattock to cut tree roots and break up the soil. Tomorrow I have decided that I am going to go ahead and use up whatever gas is still left in the tiller and loosen up that dirt so it’s much easier to work with. I might even waste a gallon of gas and get the garden as close to spring ready as I can while I have the food to supply my body energy to throw at the task. Let’s see, we got about 2 months until spring planting and I am guessing that should be enough time to get the fugelfort garden built and start the soil and wood composting. I have got an idea about trying to plant that little clearing in the woods that you can see from the garden. “David said after handing her his version of a moonshine and lemonade cocktail. That’s about the entire adult beverage they had left alcohol wise. David and her had drank up the whiskey and coke about the first week of grid down and had hunkered inside the house to discuss future plans like it was a hurricane party. It hade taken David about another three weeks after that binge to ferment some mash and distill up some home brew fiery elixir. Two big jars of country time lemonade from his preps were reserved for mixer for this fire water because the long-term storage drink mixes were too precious to use because of their calorie count additions to their diets. David had about three cases of orange and apple number 10 sized cans of the long term storage drink mix to augment the meager calories in the premade freeze dried meals he had stored. The extra vitamins and minerals contained in the drink mixes were very important to their welfare. Besides when it came to David’s sometimes over indulgent drinking habits, one drink equaled many more in the same sitting and as he put it he was not going to “Piss away dinner and breakfast while catching a buzz foolishly playing with his homemade hooch.” The drink mixes were to be rationed for meals and nothing else.

  “I know that particular spot in the woods where you are talking about David. You are talking about over by that big sawn up fallen tree right?” Julie said taking a sip from her drink and making a “this tastes wonderful” happy face as she was finally getting able to settle in for the day with a relaxed easy smile.

  The area David had referred to was nothing more than a leaf covered small oval woodland clearing about 25x 30ft that had a bark shorn 20 inch circumference fallen tree laid across the edge that had been sawn to lengths but had left laying in the dirt and rotting. The tree looked like it was rotting years ago when Davi
d bought his place and he had just left it as it was and let the forest reclaim it however it wanted too.

  “I am going to till up the center of that clearing and throw some of the dirt over that tees trunk. We can add more brush and limbs around the perimeter and slowly cover it and those logs with dirt as we go. I haven’t made my mind up on that yet. I think we have enough logwood already cut for winter, but I still want to be able to just wander in the woods close by the house and be able to pick up enough fallen limbs and sticks to feed that SilverFire Hunter if we have too. I might just try to compost those logs from the trunk and depend on row cropping for the rest of the clearing to augment the garden.” David said settling down on the couch close to Julie and taking a long satisfying sip of his drink after describing part of his plan.

  “I can see why you want to use the tiller. That area is probably full of tree roots and you will be swinging that mattock and axe enough just to make paths for the tiller to get through. How about if I gather up tree limbs and such while you work on that project? I could pile the wood up closer to the house around that area and later on you can decide if you want to use them for a garden or we need to save them for cook fires or heating?.” Julie said patting his leg and unwinding after the days chores.

  They were both pretty tired and dirty from their day’s exertions and didn’t want to move around much just yet. The sterling powered eco fan atop the wood stove was spinning wildly as the stoked up woodstove radiated its blazing heat in the small place. This tended to create sauna like conditions until a bed of coals was created that would allow David to feed the fire one log at a time from now until it was loading it up to max for bed time.

  The excessive heat in the house made David half way consider stripping down with Julie and partaking of a “cat bath” from the water they had heating in a big iron kettle setting on the woodstove. He decided for now he was just too comfortable and enjoying his drink and talking to Julie to bring that subject up and just settled.

  “David, please point that fan towards the back of the house or take it off the stove if you would.” Julie said pulling off her boots and socks and beginning to fan her over heating self momentarily with her hand.

  “Sorry baby, you know how it is with that thing. I got the damper closed on her and the air intake shut down but it’s not much use. I can’t do anything about the excessive heat until it burns down some.” David said as he was closest to it to do something about the small fan circulating heat directly in there direction on the couch.

  “Julie I got rather an odd idea about that clearing I also wanted to kick with you. If we fooglefort the perimeter of that clearing we will basically end up with a sort of defensive earthworks like they used in the revolutionary war. If I leave some of the tree branches sticking out towards a line of possible attack it would be pretty effective.” David shared and to Julie he evidently was already starting to catch a buzz and reverting to his sometimes addled military mind regarding obscure bits of info.

  “So you were thinking about building you a fort David? What are you going to call it?” Julie said going along with the strange notion and humoring David.

  “Lord knows he had already transformed and tried to fortify the house to a certain extent. That didn’t even include how David’s eccentric but good taste in decorating what he referred to as his “Prepper Shack had already occurred before the grid went down.” Julie thought beginning to grin.

  David had created an atmosphere in the about 8ft x 25 ft common room area at the front of his house that could be described as Gilligan’s Island borrows props from the Korean War comedy show M.A.S.H. When David first moved to where he was creating his little “Bug-In” retirement home he was sorely regretting that he couldn’t afford to move to his love of the beach in northwest Florida so he compromised. This particular property was as far south as he could afford to get to in the direction of Florida and as far as he was concerned he was going to decorate it like Florida to remind himself he was only a couple hours away from the hurricanes and high prices.

  The common room took on a nautical theme like a bachelor sea captains inland retirement cottage. A pair of large copper antique ship lanterns graced the top of a beloved and moved too many times old worn mahogany dresser. A large hand painted oil picture of a great four mast sailing ship hung over the couch and above that a hand carved wooden mermaid from Bali graced the wall with her bare bosom

  .

  A Russian Mosin Nagant rifle with bayonet affixed hung over one window suspended from a gun rack made of welded horseshoes. . Framing it were two solar LED lights with the wires running down to a blue metal battery box. He had some Vietnam era military issue. Flak jackets for chair back covers over two of the four dining room chairs that braced his work and socializing table.

  8

  Tent Toters

  “David are you about ready to start helping me water proof those tents?” Julie asked.

  “In a second darlin, I thought I had me another tube of seam sealer around here somewhere. One tube is enough but I would like to put my hands on my other one first if I can find it” David said rummaging about some shelves.

  “So explain to me why you want to set those tents up so they can be seen from the road. Also what is it that inspired this project when you got so many other things to be doing?” Julie said as she started going through a box David handed her to search for the missing tube of sealant.

  “Well I grew up during the days when nobody expected floors in tents. When I was in the Boy scouts we had for our use those big yellow canvas baker tents and I camped in many a drip fest and stayed nice and dry. Rarely did we ever need to trench around the tents, to do so usually means you’re going to accumulate a whole lot more water from the effort than leaving it alone or better yet sometimes just strategically piling a bit of dirt at a low place. I remember that the tents dirt or pasture grass floor and my poncho stayed dry 98% of the time. I am telling you someone ought to have started a website called all-tents-suck.org because the manufacturers of today now have got the purchasers to do their job for them waterproofing the useless things they sell and they continue to get away with it.

  How many preppers or campers got the unique opportunity to depend on a brand new or slightly used tent only to find that in a bit of rain it leaked miserably and usually in the middle of the night? The instructions to the tent supplied by the manufacturer when you buy it says to use seam sealer before actual camping use but this warning also should say spray some other kind of waterproofer all over the damn thing too for good measure. There has been many a camping trip I have been on where I saw people pitching tarps over their tents and putting another tarp under it in order to try to stay dry. Kind of gives you a whole another mindset about people’s chances of surviving in a “Homeless Tent City” or being foolish or solely misguided enough to depend on this type of shelter in a bug out.

  “I got me a brand new old style two shelter half canvas Army pup tent that me and you are going to depend on sweetie if we decide to go somewhere. If you don’t touch the damn roof on the inside they never failed me in all the years I spent under one when I was in the Army. That style of tent was in service about a hundred years and used many wars and for what it is, it just plain works as shelter. I wish I had bought me a few more tents when they were cheap when the army switched over to a different model.” David said reminiscing and then brightening noticeably as Julie found the missing sealant and they headed outside to setup the two nylon tents they had as a project for today.

  “I already understood the need for us to waterproof the things; I was more wondering why is it that you’re trying to make it look like we got extra company coming or have maybe already arrived here.” Julie said pondering what scheme David might be up to.

  “Oh that, well a bit of curiosity if anyone notices is a good thing I am guessing. Besides, I am only going to leave them up overnight and let that sealant dry well. I want to have our tents ready and in the best working order I can in
case we have to bug ourselves out of here for some reason. I doubt we are going anywhere any time soon but you can never tell and I might not be lucky enough to have a vehicle to climb into one rainy night if we get ourselves caught sleeping out in one of these fair weather tents. I am real curious however just how much these tents might get noticed and talked about by the neighbors. Ha! Sounds like fun. Mind games and curiosity, Mind games and curiosity will keep the gossip going around here a bit longer. Well maybe someone will come visit to ask about them or maybe not. Either way, we will get the task done and pack one tent in the van and put one in the prep shed.” David said as they began assembling the tents at the end of his driveway in an arrangement like someone was setting up camp there.

  “Playing with these tents sure brings back great memories David of when we all camped out at Prepper Stock 2014 doesn’t it?” Julie said smiling at the pleasant recollection.

  “Makes you wonder how all those fine folks are making out about right now don’t it.” David said smiling back as he began securing the last tent pole.

  “It sure does, I bet all of them preppers are bugged in by now and doing just fine for themselves, well better tan most anyways. Wish we could have gone to the regional event this year but we tried. Makes me sad we had one more chance to see all of them again and missed it.” Julie stated sighing in fond memory of all those prepper faces gathered around a campfire or two.