Smoking Skillet: A Recipe For Societal Collapse Page 4
Later on she related all the words of the rhyme to him and Tina on the back porch with the last of the booze they both had in their houses in a lighter, more cheerful “We will get through this” moment.
Sing a song of sixpence
Sing a song of sixpence a pocket full of rye,
Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.
When the pie was opened the birds began to sing,
Oh wasn't that a dainty dish to set before the king?
The king was in his counting house counting out his money,
The queen was in the parlor eating bread and honey
The maid was in the garden hanging out the clothes,
When down came a blackbird and pecked off her nose!
“Yea I pretty much have caught all the squirrels around here already Carl. You seen any? I might go try my luck hunting up on the side of the road if it looks safe later on and put out some trap sets or pop a cap at one or two at a critter if I am lucky. I haven’t seen anyone around at all except a few cars coming and going from the neighborhood; how about you?” Travis said leaning on the fence.
“I heard gun fire in the distance sometime last day or so but I think we are out living most folks now my friend. Hey I built you some new bird snare triggers if you want to pick them up later.” Carl said leaning on his hoe,
“Did you tell Miss Amos to keep that danged old cat of hers indoors? I am tired of trying to avoid trapping it and if I do catch it again, you know what we are going to do with it.” Travis said with a glance across the street at the grumpy old woman’s house.
“Yea, I told her but she says the cat runs out of the house before she can catch it. I think she does it on purpose though. Keep your voice down and try not to catch it. Also remember if you ever do end up skinning that critter tell Wilma it’s a rabbit or something before having it for dinner.” Carl cautioned.
“That cat don’t have too many lives left, I have already caught and released him twice now. If you gave her some of them bird traps we been making, she can feed herself and that danged cat also by herself. That SOB would have scratched me to death if I hadn’t thrown a towel over him to get him out of the noose last time. I want to set some twitch up snares out around and see what might walk into them, could be some other strays or a possum making the rounds maybe between our two backyards that can go in the stewpot.” Travis said.
“I will have another talk with her. She said she had some cash or jewelry for trade for some food if we have any to spare in exchange.” Carl said looking at him meaningfully.
“I don’t have any extra that I am willing to give up. I don’t know where to try to go trade for any more neither. I gave her a few things awhile back and that’s it, wouldn’t take a million dollars for the couple cans I have left.” Travis said gloomily.
“I sort of told her that, she said she thought we were being greedy but that’s just the desperation in her coming out. You reckon them folks in Smileyville will sell us any peanuts out of that warehouse they got over there?” Carl asked.
“I hadn’t really thought about it until you just mentioned it now. I doubt it; I think that’s what the town’s maybe living off of until they can get a new crop in the field. I have never grown peanuts so I don’t know what they are keeping for seed or roasting or boiling. I would like to have me some peanut seed though. I wonder if they would trade us for some and tell me how to grow it? “Travis said contemplating.
“Could be, you got any of that Winterbore Kale seed left? Somebody for sure would want to trade for that.” Carl suggested.
“I got maybe enough for my own and your spring planting but we should be able to collect some from what we got growing in the yard now. That stuff over winters well but it sure doesn’t produce as many leaves. How much gas you got in your car?” Travis asked.
“I still have 3/4 of a tank in the wife’s car; mine is sitting about on a quarter of a tank. You want me to drive over there and go ask for us?” Carl said speculating.
“Well you already know everyone around here and most likely over there. I was thinking you maybe go do it and I stay here and guard the ladies. You could maybe get whatever baubles Miss Amos has for trade and try your luck if you can find someone to trade with but don’t bring her with you!” Travis said.
“Oh hell no, they would flat out run me out of town just for bringing her I bet.” Carl said chuckling.
“Maybe Wilma wants to get out of the house for the day? That is if you think it’s safe enough to have her go along with you.” Travis suggested.
“I don’t know about that. Hell I don’t know about much of anything at all these days. I don’t know anything about road conditions outside this town neither be it coming or going, or for that matter, whether or not they might have the military standing guard on that peanut processing plant, do you?” Carl asked wondering if it was one of those emergency powers acts designated critical agricultural infrastructure sites.
“I haven’t heard any news on it one way or the other. I guess you could call it critical infrastructure but who knows. They have a National Guard armory over there; I think it’s a maintenance group. I know they Federalized all the National Guard troops but what they are doing with them at the moment or where they are at I haven’t a clue. I tell you what, even if they are gone somewhere the old soldiers of the unit that served at one time would take over that place and probably be thinking town militia or old home guard. You were military once same as me, I would maybe go try to play old soldier and talk to somebody over there at the armory about what’s going on.” Travis said.
“Excellent suggestion! I would much rather do that! I would prefer by far to walk up on a bunch of civilian soldiers than whoever they got securing that peanut plant to ask questions. I used to go fishing in the county lake over there; how many people you reckon are camped out by that lake or out fishing?” Carl asked.
“That’s a good question. My answer might be none around at all, civilians I mean. Let me explain to you my reasoning on that. See if that town is living off all those tons of peanuts they got in the factory warehouse, I bet then the mayor is using the volunteer Fire Departments’ pumper truck to get water out of that lake and haul it for the citizens to drink if they got their act together. They wouldn’t want a bunch of campers peeing and pooping all around the shores. Besides that lake never did allow campers, just day fishing. Now as for any fish being present in the lake? Who knows, I never had much luck there anyway? It’s probably been all fished out by now for sure but I bet they dang sure got some kind of restrictions about hunting around it. My guess is that Fish and Game might have taken it over the grounds and is supervising the restrictions. It’s kind of hard to say at all. Nobody as far as I know is getting paid payroll anymore but that don’t mean they ain’t still on duty or worked out something with the town. Hell, Sheriffs, police, etc. live in a town, it’s about time they try to protect their own and be a peace officer. Voluntary service is a good thing if everyone is all nicely pulling together and no power plays or leadership issues are going on. Only problem is going to be maybe how they feel about and receive outsiders, which is getting back to why I want you to go over there. You’re older, you are less of a threat looking than me and you maybe know somebody or their families over there. I didn’t grow up around here or know something I might have in common.” Travis said reminding him he was an out of state transplant to the area.
“Hell, I will go have a look at the lake Travis while I am over there if I am allowed. Maybe they got a store open for trade downtown, do you think?” Carl said speculating.
“Somebody is always going to be selling something somewhere for some price of that you and I can be assured. That’s one of the laws of nature and capitalism if you ask me. Those National Guard boys will be able to tell you if you can get next to them ask where you should look. Go put on one of those military ball caps you wear Carl and do the” how do you do” old vet greeting another one thing. If they are getting any rations
at all from the state or military, try to talk them into trading with you. Hell, now you got me wanting to go along for the ride but one of us needs to stay here.” Travis said eying the neighborhood and knowing that there were watchers observing everyone’s coming and going and most likely looking for an opportunity to break in maybe.
“Could it be Travis that everyone over there is like us hiding in the house peeling out windows and all them peanuts have been moved somewhere else a long time ago?” Carl asked squinching up his face and not wanting to risk the trip and achieving nothing.
“Yea that’s a hell of a point; there is really no telling what is going on. What is it, 20 miles up and back to get there? That’s at least a couple gallons plus of gas that I ain’t personally got it to spare Carl on just our speculation. I am still thinking me and Tina will need to bug out of this place and go somewhere else as soon as I think on it some more.” Travis said.
“I will ask those Guardsmen if I see any if they know where I can buy us any moonshine! That will get the ball rolling in the right direction of bartering or black marketing quick time.” Carl said with a huge grin having already mentally decided to do it.
“There you go again; trying to get me to go in your place or with you by offering me interesting bribes and adventures! If you get lucky and come up with any hooch you best remember your old drinking buddy over here but be danged careful and don’t take no chances. So you definitely going huh, if that’s true I got something kind of tacky I need to ask your Wilma about. What it is about and concerning is Tina’s up coming birthday and something I might want to make for her as a present.” Travis said walking down the fence with Carl to retrieve what looked like a red robin from his snare.
“What is it that you want to make her?” Carl asked curiously.
“Well I don’t know what it is exactly I want to make yet, that’s one of the things I want to talk to her about. You see the problem is, what it is I want to use to make something with that I don’t whether or not that would be tacky to use.” Travis said placing the dead bird in his game bag.
“What exactly is it that you plan on using for that you think might be some kind of a problem?” Carl asked.
“Well I have gotten danged good at skinning birds instead of plucking feathers out of all these birds catch. I kind of thought I could maybe make something bedazzling out of all them bright feather skins.´ Travis offered.
“I say you better not. She used to feed and watch all those birds as backyard pets sort of as you well remember and the reason you got that sack of bird seed in your house. Do you remember Travis how she cringed and the look on her face the first time you caught several of them colorful song birds? You best leave that idea alone. You can ask Wilma about it but if you want my opinion she say the same as me. Hey, don’t you worry about it Travis, me and Wilma still owe you big time for all the work and favors you do around here and I am sure we have something in that house that you wouldn’t mind giving her for a present.” Carl said with a smile.
“Wow thank you! That is sure awful nice of you Carl but I would feel funny doing that! However, if you find a jug of shine anywhere that would be the perfect birthday present and I will invite you to the party! When is it that you decided you were leaving?” Travis said with a grin.
“I will talk it all over with Wilma and see about me going possibly sometime in the morning maybe around 8 or 9 AM. You go back to your house and discuss it with Tina and then we will all talk some more this evening together.” Carl said and then went back to his own home to discuss things with his wife
Travis told Tina all about Carl’s possible trip to Smileyville and then asked her what she thought about the whole aspect of that little adventure.
“The first thing that comes to my mind is why haven’t we thought of doing this before?” Tina asked, pondering the notion and looking at Travis ruefully...
“Well we sort of did and then we had the government restrict travel advisories and their federalization of all the fuel depots and oil refineries and such. The government also put the FDA in charge of the big corporate wheat farms production etc. so we figured they had their nose in everything. Maybe they do but I doubt it. That was a farmer’s privately owned co-op plant. It was the pledge of their production that got it built and basically the farmers all own a piece of it. They didn’t like the prices they were being paid at the processing plant so they built one closer to them and got a better price. That kind of independence might still be running independent over there. I know one big farmer pledged 50,000 tons of raw peanuts along with others pledging 25,000 tons etc. for the project and collateral etc. That is a hell of a lot of production, particularly when it’s not being trucked off to other states and processors. Anyway we just thought more of it really. You can feed a lot of people with that kind of production. Alabama can grow wheat you know if we can get any seed. Nobody grows it much but that grain crop and peanuts make a peanut butter sandwich.” Travis said with a smile.
“Wow, I am going to be freaked out big time if we have been ignoring a food source that was only right up the road from us. Do you think they are actually operating, I mean sustaining themselves?” Tina said incredulously.
“Good question. It all depends on how much they had stored in the silos when the lights went out. The harvest was in on most everything commodity wise in the United States I imagine this time of year. Whatever form it was in the factories being remanufactured or reconstituted to one thing or another in a food processing plant I am sure was spoiled when the power went out though. No telling how much raw grains are being shipped at one time or another. Do you remember government cheese? During the cold war we had a national stockpile of grains to feed every man woman and child for a period of years that dwindled down to weeks and for less people and then you didn’t hear about it anymore. I suspect they are trying to get something like the old Civil defense stockpile distribution system going again but I have no idea how they plan on delivering it to so many more people. Right now around here we’ve just been trying to hold on ourselves and as you know news is sparse and we don’t get out talking to other people much.” Travis said.
“Well then, I can agree with you two that we should go have a look see but it might be dangerous. What if the town is barricaded and they won’t let him in? You know, like they do sometimes after hurricanes, bar certain areas and only residents with homes in a community are allowed to travel through the cordoned area. What then? There was talk on the radio about illegal travel restrictions or detours impeding the flow of people and commerce already. There were federal advisories about how private as well as townships were going to be held accountable just like the price gougers after this disaster.” Tina said thinking about a local sheriff or small town police department controlling access to an area in order to protect its citizens from the masses of people fleeing the cities and creating illegal no go zones.
“That’s sort of why I think that small town plant might still exist. Look those people have old country community. Yea we laugh at them for their watermelon festival and call it quaint when they still have high school bands marching down Main Street with a fleet of farm tractors and little kids in costumes following them but they represent what’s good about America. Whether the chips are up or down, they all still pull together in that little town as a whole and have deep community roots. They ain’t sitting around dying in the suburbs, the churches and woman’s league etc will be doing some kind of seed sale for Victory Garden drives, the football team will be digging those gardens etc as they wait on spring planting but there is still enough season for some cold hardy greens to get growing. For example if they get that farmer that has that big field of cotton next to that new subdivision over there to plow that shit under and get the seed and feed guy to give him an allocation of what he needs to turn them citified folks next to his field into sharecroppers or community garden organizers depending on their level of ignorance and you have a sort of a beginning of a self sustaining community
that can make it through winter. It will be the most miserable starving dirty raggedy existence possible but it’s a plan and it will work if it wasn’t but for one thing. Dumb asses, folk’s too lazy, arrogant and weak minded or whatever following each other’s incompetence instead of a leader to organize them for group survival.” Travis said laying out a plan that he hoped most small town Americans would be adopting about right now, but thinking how hard it would be in these days and times to gain that much cooperation out of anyone any more.
“What do you mean by survival leader? Don’t you think those folks will have enough sense themselves to band together and follow directions in order to eat? I am not getting what it is that you are saying about a leader.” Tina said puzzling over his words.
“What I mean is that the process of choosing a leader for something like this is quite a different task from electing a mayor or administrator in peace time. You want a labor organizer, not someone that just delegates their offices authority. You want someone to run the town like a factory and insuring that everyone is productive and meeting time schedules, because time is what we all have less of than food unless they can figure out someway very quickly how to reboot society for themselves.” Travis said implicitly.
“Seems like to me that the citizens should already have themselves an elected governing body for the people to look towards for directions or governing authority like the mayor and his council to departmentalize or something. They could set up a committee of shop owners and farmers and maybe come up with a plan to do those things like community gardens you were talking about.” Tina said questioning the thought of the community choosing a special leader for this crisis.