Smoking Skillet Read online

  Preppers have serious logistic problems; they are pack rats and junk buyers extraordinaire at times. Travis had made his share of newbie rookie mistakes along with everyone else in the prepper community. It seems that everyone at some time or another had occasionally bought some poorly made or silly equipment as they upgraded, downgraded, bought some new fangled crap, and tried a different kind of this or that knife etc. and now it was time to make sense out of it all.

  Hell by the looks of this pile gear he could probably outfit his own squad with something representing a bug out bag and a weapon but it would be a sad sack army indeed composed of old military surplus and lots of dreams of ingenuity and application that were still in various stages of development. Still and all whoever he might take under his wing someday and outfitted would be probably light years ahead of many others in survival capabilities. This was mostly due to Travis’s country boy prepper mentality and practiced survival skills. Travis knew all too well however the need for regular rations to be in the bug out bags and had what looked like a giant heavy bag of food for each pack. He had gone minimalist on this also but it still weighed a few pounds and was pretty bulky. It was everything the both of them could do in these starving times not to get into these preps but Travis had been adamant they not use any of it until the actually bugged out. They would need all of the extra calories and nutrition their weakened bodies had for the trail and when this food was gone they would only have what they could forage, fish or trap for after that.

  He had explained to Tina their backpacks would get lighter everyday in spite of this big food package that threatened to take up too much space and he had even written down directions for how to utilize this golden stash of chow should they ever become separated or if they were in different locations bugging out. The paper stuffed in the big thick plastic bag containing these food stores went something like this.

  Day 1 and the adventures has just begun. Make a sandwich for a main meal and don’t cheat or steal any extra goodies from your stash. Just remember it ain`t much, but you want to stretch it out and make it last as long as it can. However you’re now considered wealthy without the weight of full MREs or canned goods.

  Beef Brisket Entrée

  MRE Multigrain Snack Bread

  MRE Orange Drink Mix (Fortified with Vitamin C)

  Have a snack later on in the day to refuel with

  MRE Cracker

  MRE Condiment Cheese Spread

  MRE Drink Mix Sugar-Free Lemonade

  Day 2 Your doing fine, get the long hike off your mind. just put one foot in front of the other and don’t be blue. You do need some more calories today before setting off on your walk so take a moment to reflect on this as an early hard earned breakfast, it will be the last one you will get for a long awhile.

  MRE Cornbread with MRE Bacon Cheddar Cheese Spread

  Eat your main midday meal around 2 PM or so after walking some miles, make yourself up some tasty fajitas before you get back on the go.

  MRE Chicken Fajita Filling

  MRE Tortillas

  Drink you a canteen cup of MRE Drink Mix Sugar-Free Lemonade with lunch

  Drink you a canteen cup of MRE Orange Drink Mix (Fortified with Vitamin C) when you make night camp and nibble on some crackers.

  Day 3 say Si Amigo some more and have you something resembling a taco and quit thinking of making campfire smores.

  MRE Beef Taco Filling

  MRE Tortillas

  Orange Drink Mix (Fortified with Vitamin C)

  Somewhere along this road march reward yourself and finally allow yourself to have that pastry you been saving. YUM!

  1 Pint = 16 ounces. Equals a canteen cup, a quart canteen gives you two of these. Sounds like you already got a problem even carrying two canteens. You finding any water yet? You did carry some extra water or more than one canteen didn’t you?

  Day 4 and there is so much more, Get yourself up, dust yourself off and lets go do it again, your bodies feeling the reduced calories and fats intake so it’s a feast day to help you get to a support groups door. Quit pushing, slow and steady wins the race.

  Eat your main midday meal late or make yourself push on and have huge dinner and a rest later. Try to separate it out into two meals. The addition of a second entrée in the menu of the day gives you more food and your shrinking stomach will rejoice in having the extra chow to feel full and not start eating your own body’s muscle and fat. Feast and famine eating is a paleo thing in my opinion and this methodology will get your body used to utilizing its reserves.

  Eat half the peanut butter on crackers and save the rest for squirrel bait unless you got extra for your first couple hours hiking break snack.

  Decide when to eat your grand main meal.

  MRE Chunk Chicken With Natural Juices

  MRE Fried Rice

  Orange Drink Mix (Fortified with Vitamin C)

  MRE Cinnamon Bun

  Or save it and snack like last night.

  Got the sundown munchies

  MRE Drink Mix Sugar-Free Lemonade

  MRE Cracker

  MRE Bacon Cheddar Cheese Spread

  Day 5 you’re still awful hungry but you’re still alive! You’re doing everything that it takes to conserve and get by to survive.

  Eat and rest while trying to do your best. Set some snares and sit around and rest and stare. Water is the main thing so collect plenty to purify.

  Beef Brisket Entrée

  MRE Garlic Mashed Potatoes

  MRE Cracker

  MRE Cheese Spread

  Day 6 you’re tired of this living in the sticks. A sandwich ain`t much but that’s all that’s being served on this lead footed marching pack mule trip

  MRE Chunk Chicken With Natural Juices

  MRE Multigrain Snack Bread

  Have you some peanut butter crackers

  Day 7 you’re starting to think about heaven. Your out of chow what ever will you do now?

  Know your directions do not get lost; this menu only takes you 5 miles a day for 6 days which is a hump to be even traveling only 30 miles but that’s a reasonable and attainable distance carrying a pack... If you are Rambo minded double it to get to 60 miles but what is the rush? Don’t wear yourself out to beyond most folk’s capabilities.

  Directions for Dummies that lost compass or map.

  In the morning using the location of the rising sun, stretch out your right arm so that your right hand is point east. Take your left hand and point it towards the west. You are now facing north and your back is towards the south.

  You need to know that north is at noon, east at three o'clock, and south at six o'clock, and west at nine o'clock," Travis explains. "And the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. So if you want to walk south in the morning, the sun should be on your left." If it's evening, substitute the stars for the sun.

  Although you can technically go for weeks without food, you're going to start feeling weak after just a few days without it. And in a survival situation, you want to make sure that you have enough energy to not just stay alive, but to actively improve your chances of rescue or rebuilding and recovery.

  .

  7

  A Tearful Farewell

  “Well we are all loaded up and ready to get the show on the road.” Steve said to Tina and Travis after knocking on the door as they did a last minute look around for anything they might of missed taking.

  “We are ready, what are Carl and Wilma doing?” Tina asked as Travis picked up his shotgun to leave.

  “They are still saying goodbye to Miss Amos, I don’t think she really gets what is happening.” Steve said shaking his head and feeling low about leaving the old woman behind.

  “Well I taught her as best as I could and she has our gardens and traps now. Did Carl remember to give her my key to the house?” Travis said a bit dejectedly.

  “Yea he did, hey here they come now. Let’s hurry ourselves up and get out of here. There is no way I am bringing that woman with us but I
feel bad for leaving her all the same and just soon all of us get on the road as quick as we can.” Steve said anxiously.

  “Ok, we are right in back of you and cranking up the van.” Travis said and he and Tina turned one last time to utter a regretful “Farewell House!” as they opened the van’s doors to get in. Travis fired up the vehicle and then he and Tina waved a forlorn goodbye to Miss Amos standing all alone in her doorway slowly waving back to them as they backed out of the driveway and hurriedly followed the RV down the road that would lead them hopefully to a new final safe haven.

  There wasn’t a dry eye in any of their vehicles as they drove along in silence the first hour or so. They drove without incident or detour the first seventy or so miles until they came upon a wreck unexpectedly while traveling down a particularly bad stretch of road.

  Everyone was in shock that they were so close but yet so far from their not too distant by vehicle but days and days walk to their fish camp goal.

  The road was impassable now it seemed and their hearts sank.

  8

  Blocked Off!

  “I don’t know how we are ever going to get around that mess on the road up ahead. We could maybe backtrack and try to find a way around but I think the only real road turn off from here is like 15 miles behind us. We got the gas to do it ourselves but I don’t know if Carl has enough in that RV for a long detour.” Travis said

  “I don’t think we have much choice except to turn back, that’s a nasty wreck ahead. We may as well get out and talk to them about it. I hope they have a better map than we do, I don’t even know exactly where we are at except in the middle of no where on this general highway map at the moment.” Tina replied.

  “I am not sure quite where we are at either. Let’s see what they have to say.” Travis said thinking it was going to be hard enough to get his van and the RV turned around on this narrow road as it was. The road barely had a shoulder and they were basically stuck headed in one direction until they did some maneuvering.

  Steve and Slim had got out of the motor home and were eyeing the twisted wreckage as Beth holding a map and Carl and Wilma exited the side door of the RV.

  “Looks like to me that somebody broke down with a flat and got whacked by two cars speeding. Guess those other two cars were coming through at night or in some bad rain and didn’t see them half on and off the road.” Slim said eying the damage.

  “It’s been awhile since this happened it appears and no skeletons or bodies are lying around; I wonder why they didn’t try to get these wrecks out of the road so folks could get past?” Steve said looking at the carnage.

  “Good question! By the way, where the hell are we at anyway besides stuck in Florida somewhere? I was thinking we were thirty or so miles out from the next town and there ain’t shit but occasional farms in back of us.” Travis said joining the group.

  “I am trying to figure that out now, As near as I can tell we are about 8 miles from the turnoff to the fish camp and roughly 15 miles to our destination. On the other hand if we got to backtrack, we might be like 60 miles from the fish camp. It’s sort of hard to tell what these minor roads do on this map, I need a magnifying glass and the nearest county road looks like it is around 18 miles in back of us.” Beth said spreading out a map.

  “Being this far out in the county and away from any towns might be the reason no one tried to get the wreck out of the way. I have barley even seen an old farm house or cow pasture in awhile.” Slim said looking around.

  How is that gas-guzzler of yours doing Steve? You got enough safety margin left in your fuel tank to go get lost for awhile backtracking? Travis asked.

  “I got enough gas if we don’t have a bunch more detours to take but I am thinking I maybe can snatch those wrecks out of the way with my vehicle. Thing is even if I can move them around some would it leave us enough room to move around and get a clear path.” Steve said thinking about some tow straps and logging chain he had with them.

  “You might could sort of “S” them out some and we could get by but those cars look kind of twisted together. I think if you pull on those heaps you get one big long boat anchor.” Slim said eying the mess.

  “Would there be anyway for you to push those cars out of the way with the RV? Kind of like fires trucks sometimes do if a vehicle is blocking their access? You could put a tire or something in between their bumper and yours and maybe not tear up or damage anything?” Travis asked.

  “I for one am thinking if you wrap one of those tow straps you got around a tree and angle it off to the side for leverage we can drag one of them off nose first into the ditch maybe.” Slim said studying the wreck.

  As the men contemplated how to get around the wrecks the ladies started talking about taking a break for lunch now because it looked like they might be sitting around here for a bit.

  “Question is where is it we plan on ending up at tonight. It will get dark as the bottom of a well out here in about 4 hours.” Tina said ominously and Wilma interrupted the conversation to ask her husband exactly that same question about where they were planning on bedding down this evening. They had planned on being at the fish camp a few hours before dark but this new snafu had spoiled all of their carefully made plans.

  “You make a good point; I don’t want to be out here to get run into tonight if someone decides to come down this stretch of highway, I ain’t too much liking being blocked off neither. Well lookee here folks! Something is dang sure odd about how these vehicles ended up like this positioned across the road like they are. I think these hulks have been slid out the way by somebody before! See the way these scrapes on the road look like something has been dragged back and forth and the scuffs on them cars look like some are fresher than others and in appear in odd places. I say that somebody has already moved them around some, not once but a few times.” Carl declared ominously studying the marks.

  “Your right buddy! I see what you mean now. We need to get the hell out of here right this minute I am thinking.” Slim said looking all around at the road sides for people or danger.

  “Grab your long guns Steve; this might be set up as some kind of barricade or ambush site.” Travis said hurrying back to his car with Tina running to in front of him to get to theirs they had somehow foolishly left behind in their haste to examine the wreck for a way around.

  “What’s all the fuss about? Why is everyone so worried, nobody’s around?” Wilma said confused as she walked over from the RV.

  “He means Hon, Just because the roads quiet don’t mean it will stay that way. We might be getting set up for a ambush of some kind” Carl said drawing his Iver Johnson 45 pistol out as he and Wilma quickly got out of the road and reentered the dubious safety of the motor home.

  “Did any of you happen to notice anyone that might have seen us pass by in say the last 10 or so miles?” Slim asked thinking that he hadn’t seen anyone on the road for at least 50 or more miles but he hadn’t been watching Steve’s window side of the RV much.

  He had been pretty much mostly watching for zombies as he called it on his side of the road looking for threats and possible scavenging opportunities while studying empty untilled farm fields and porches for signs of life as well as trying to keep an eye on what was up ahead as they rode along.

  He and Steve had both seen some plowed fields and they had commented about a cow or two seen grazing behind a fence close to a farmer’s house but no physical people were present that he had seen.

  “No I haven’t seen anyone but that don’t mean they were not out there watching us. You think this might be some kind of trap we rode into? Could be highwaymen or some kind of marauders trying to slow us down maybe? “Steve said.

  “I don’t know what this is pile up is all about, but I don’t like it! I am tempted to get out of this RV and go walk the side of the road and have a look at what ever it is to be seen up on them embankments on the side of the road. First thing I want to see if there happens to by any brass casings lying around up there. Then agai
n I just soon get turned around and get going elsewhere” Slim said meaning spent rifle cartridges or shotgun shells up on the dirt berm might show if this was a known ambush point.” Slim said.

  “Damn that wandering around, go ahead and stay inside for now! Then again, step out for a second... I might need you to help me try to get this thing turned around. DAMN THIS PLACE IS NARROW Never mind Slim. Maybe the better idea is to just throw RV in reverse and back it a mile or so until we can get to a clear enough spot to have plenty of room for this beast to swing around. Looks like Travis has decided he is going to go ahead and get turned about. “Steve said eying the van he was driving maneuvering on the skinny two lane road.

  “Go ask him what it is he has in mind to do Slim. I am all for pulling out of here and turning around but I don’t have enough room here to do it I don’t think. Oh I see what he is doing; check it out, he is blocking the road coming towards us but he still can get out and head back easy. Pretty smart tactical move, wonder where he got that one from. Tell him that I vote for us staying here and trying to pull these wrecks out of the way with my rig and keep moving forward. This thing has a hell of an engine and a lot of pull, shouldn’t take long.” Steve said as Carl also stepped out the side door with Slim and his shotgun to go talk to Travis.